“There has got to be more to life” is what i said to my husband, kevin, this morning. I planned an IMPROMPTU trip to disneyland trying to sooth myself… that, UNFORTUNATELY, did not help since the cost of that trip would have been somewhere around $3,000 for 2 days in the parks. So, scratch that. Then, it was time to scroll puppies and dream about what it would be like to breed dogs and have puppies to love on at all times. That, obviously, is not the answer.
Well, here i am. i decided I needed a creative outlet and needed to talk to someone other than my husband during the day… even if the “person” i am talking to is my computer screen… or rather typing to.
Lately, I have felt like i have no place in this world. It’s like i have all of these interests… but none of them fulfill me. I love to read… but nothing is hitting the spot. I love to paint… but all of my paintings disgust me. I love to garden… but i don’t want to get dirty. you get the point. Life has been stagnant. until i started to read the bible, i had no hope.
I have started to dive into the old testament and i must say, it has been a treat. i adore learning all of the things that god has done. It is like i am dying of thirst for more every time i need to stop for the night.
god will heal me. the problems that i am facing are supernatural problems.
These are things that i have learned from reading my bible and going to church on easter sunday. It is like god was speaking to me. i had a spotlight on me.
I have been dealing with cronic sleepiness for a long time now. After hearing in church that god can handle my supernatural problems, it is like suddenly my sleepiness has subsided. how does anyone explain that? it is obvious that god has his hand on me. for that, i am too thankful to put into words.
from here, i want to CAPITALIZE on being alive. I want to thank the lord everyday for the breath in my lungs. i want to live every day like it is my last day until i go home to see my creator. i have everything i need at my fingertips. i have a wonderful god, i have an amazing husband, my kids are the greatest love of my life, my dog is the sweetest, my house full of love, my chickens are laying, my garden is growing, and my bible is always open. it is time to rejoice and live in the now with what i have.
there are so many things to look forward to in my life but i want to be in the here and now. i want to soak in the time i have with my sons and my husband. i want to praise god every second of every day. i am alive and breathing and that is all i really need to be truly happy. Sometimes i just need a little reminder of that. i hope this blog will serve as that reminder.
i want to be able to go back through my blog posts and read what god has done for me and relive all of the moments that sometimes we lose to time and failing memory.
for now, it is time to get creative and prepare this website to be a place that i love. soon, i will write love notes to God and to my little family. I will document the garden and the bread and the chickens and the cooper doodle dog because those are the things that life is about and that make me happy beyond words.
B
Flour & Flowers 
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